9/8 rest of day

What I ate: smoothie with almond milk, mango and chia seeds. Popcorn. Luna bar. 

Pasta, turkey with sauce like thing, vegetables and cinnamon apples. 

So. So. So. Many regrets today. So much hunger. I got weighed today too so everything feels weird. I ate so much. And only really worked out my abs. Exercise urges are through the roof. Even though it all tasted good and for once I'm satisfied like physically. Mentally I'm a mess from today. So we will see how tomorrow goes. 

Fullness: 8-8.5

Love

Aria

9/8 breakfast

What it was: bagel and red bull

I wanted to eat. But I didn't want to eat. And now I don't know how I feel about it. But I was really hungry so that's a positive. Idk. It wasn't challenging really. 

Fullness: 7.5

Labor Day Dinner

What it was: 1/2 slice of pizza, salad with cucumbers, cheese, raisins and dressing, and a cookie. 

Considering this was my first normal person meal today, I don't feel too anxious. The conversation at the table was really unhelpful though. It was about how some foods are bad and give consequences like weight gain, which apparently nobody wants. So that gave me a lot of anxiety. I feel really sick now. So I kinda wish I hadn't eaten. But it's too late now so that's fine. The salad dressing was by far the hardest part of this meal because it's an unnecessary fat. The only good thing, was that I went to dinner hungry. So that's a change. 

Fullness: 10

Labor Day Lunch?

What is was: bamba, cotton candy and 3/4 of a donut. 

I've been hungry-ish the whole afternoon but I've been running around and spent part of the day at the beach so good was spread out a lot. The donut was the scariest part of this meal like thing because it's the most conventionally unhealthy and highest caloric value of all of them. Everything tasted good though so that's a positive and I stayed at the beach in a bikini for about 4 hours. So all in all in pretty proud of myself. 

Fullness level: 6.75

Love

Aria

Labor Day Breakfast

What I ate: Luna Protein Bar

Fullness: like a 5.5

I was dizzy before eating it so I'm going to assume I was hungry but I'm not totally sure. This was actually really challenging for me in a couple ways. Mostly because it's my first time making an active decision to eat when I first wake up while knowing that I'm going to eat lunch and dinner. So, if all goes according to plan it'll be my first day with three meals in almost 2 weeks. Which is super anxiety provoking. Also, I usually reserve protein bars for when I'm doing more exercise. Today I'm just going to the beach so there's no need for so much protein. Plus it makes you gain weight faster. Or at least that's what I've heard. 

As far as like the taste of it, it was fine. Nothing horrible or great. Granted the after taste is absolutely disgusting. But yeah. It is what it is. 

Love

Aria

Explanation

If anyone who reads this has been to Renfrew, then you know that after every meal you have meal support therapy or MST. After leaving Renfrew I have found it increasingly easy to slip back and stop noticing what I'm eating or not eating. So, I decided to make this blog to talk all about the food. The good, the bad, the feelings. Basically, each post will cover a meal. It will say what I ate, if I liked it and more details about that, if it was challenging and why or why not and then rating hunger and fullness. Hopefully you all find this as helpful as I did in treatment. 

Love

Aria